4 ways to cope during the holidays By Michelle Kostic on December 18, 2023

Many people who struggle with infertility find the holidays a challenge for various reasons. There’s a mix of sentiments, from feeling “ungrateful” in the “most wonderful time of the year”, to feeling sad or jealous at pregnancy announcements; to dealing with the dreadful “when are you having kids!?”questions. 

This is why it’s important to have a few tools to make this time a bit more bearable. Here are 4 ways to cope during the holidays:

  1. Be picky about what events to attend and which ones to let go of. Although it may be tempting to accept all invitations and show up, sometimes simply staying home and taking a break to focus on self care is the biggest gift we can give ourselves 
  2. Validate your internal experience through a “welcome all” approach. For example, even if you have a lot to be thankful for, you’re still allowed to hope and dream of a pregnancy. You’re allowed to feel sad, angry, hopeless, regardless of what season we are in
  3. Help people help you. That’s right! Give instructions on what to say e.g. avoid asking me about pregnancy or kids, don’t give unsolicited advice, let me know you care by just listening to me venting, etc. 
  4. Take a break. Yes, I know this one is hard because the clock doesn’t stop ticking, but sometimes, we access our most resourced selves when we walk away from a difficulty for a bit, even if it's going on a small staycation together! 

All in all, know the biggest priority during this time is your mental wellbeing. Taking care of you will allow a much bigger container for love and supporting others. More importantly, it will make you more resilient amidst adversity. Hang in there dear one!


Michelle KosticMichelle Kostic, LPCC, is a mental health therapist and author with expertise in trauma. Based in Greenwood Village, Colorado, she operates from her private practice and also provides remote services. Michelle specializes in the complex intersectionality of healing from past events while navigating the ongoing challenges of infertility. Drawing from her personal journey through infertility, she offers a distinctive blend of firsthand experiences, compassion, and valuable resources to support individuals on their path to healing. More information can be found on her website www.kostictherapy.com 


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